Yummy tricycle.
True. I’ve been quiet.
But not still.
MAS turned 1 the day after Thanksgiving. Only now, looking back on the last month and a half, can I see that that event sent me into a sort of tailspin. All those memories! Most of them unsettling. Just a patchwork of images, really, all laden with guilt, anger, fear, anxiety. And then I’d look up from whatever reverie I’d sunk into to see my amazing son, giggling and laughing and playing. Against all odds so normal I couldn’t help but feel stunned by it.
He’d moved past his premature beginning. But me? I was still stuck. Stuck in a loop of self-blame and regret.
So. That was my holiday season. Very merry indeed.
I finally came to about a week ago, after New Year’s. The day I turned 37.
Again, I started making my daily rounds in the blogosphere. All the old lives I used to inhale. And came across this concept on Shmoopy’s space.
No resolution, but a word.
I too abandoned Resolutions years ago. I just got tired of making promises to myself that I could never follow through with.
But a word? A guiding principle to guide me through the year?
That I can get on board with.
So. My word this year is Leap. I even bought one of Stacie D’s pendants to wear around my neck so I can remind myself of it daily.
At some point I’ll talk about why I chose that word, what intentions it conjures for me, the ways in which I hope to embody Leap in the coming months, and how it relates to a new blogging project I'm embarking on sometime in late Spring.
