Friday, March 20, 2009

Things I Wish I'd Known About Having A Preemie

MAS @ 29 weeks

If you learn your baby’s nurses’ names and use them your infant will get better treatment.

You’ll alternately resent and revere your baby’s nurses.

No one really knows what to say to you. Not even your own parents.

Kangaroo care works.

The more you visit, the more your baby thrives. Even if he doesn’t seem to react at all, he knows you’re there: he recognizes your voice.

You’ll always wonder if there’s something you could have done to prevent giving birth prematurely.

Sometimes it will help to live day by day, other times week by week.

You’ll come to crave the visitor who fawns over how beautiful your baby is no matter how tiny or how many wires and tubes he’s hooked up to because they see what you see: a spectacularly precious life.

You’ll come to love changing your baby’s diaper because its one of the few times you’re permitted to interact with him.

For the first few months—maybe even year—of your preemie’s life you’ll feel sadness and regret and envy and even a little guilt when you see someone in the advanced stages of pregnancy. Your feelings will embarrass and shame you, but denying them will only make them more powerful.

In your mind, your preemie will always have two birthdays: the day he was born and the day he should have been born.

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