13 Things About Brownstone Baby

1. He was born on Thanksgiving Day.

2. He was born 12 weeks early.

3. He therefore, like all preemies, has a double identity: Sagittarius and Aquarius.

4. He loves the stuffed loon on his activity gym.

5. He thinks diaper changes are funny.

6. He’s ticklish.

7. He abhors being hungry.

8. He finds his Fisher Price swing sometimes hilarious, sometimes disturbing.

9. He had a full head of hair when he was born; no mean feat for a 28 weeker.

10. Since he learned to stick his tongue out it’s become his favorite trick.

11. He loves bath time more than any other time of day.

12. He loves speed whether its in the car or stroller: stoplights and traffic jams make him angry.

13. He's been hitting every single milestone when he would have had he been born on his due date--sometimes earlier. (Rolling over at 3 months!)

Avian Analogies

To take the bird metaphor further: she who lays her eggs in an open field has to be more aggressive in defending her chicks than she who lays in a camouflaging tree.

Me? I laid my egg on a freshly mown suburban lawn. Danger all around: kids playing ball and dogs digging and cars speeding past.

Nestless, I used my very own puffed up self to protect him. And letting go of that? Ah. Harder than I thought.

When The Worst Isn’t That Bad

Giving birth 12 weeks early was the biggest crisis I’ve dealt with in my adult life.

But it wasn’t an entirely negative experience:

I meet a group of really wonderful women and some pretty tough preemies.

I got to know a team of phenomenal NICU doctors and nurses.

I got an extra three months with MAS—months during which he would have otherwise been a mystery to me. (And what a miracle to be able to watch the rapid and spectacular development that occurs during the third trimester.)

But the real kicker: I discovered something really important about myself, something that has changed me in the most profound way.

Despite my previous doubts, it turns out I’m actually a remarkably strong person. Life can throw its worst at me and I don’t crumble. I bend like a reed. I bounce back easily and quickly. I don’t lose perspective even while I’m terrified and the walls are crumbling around me.

And somehow knowing that about myself changes everything. And that’s the gift MAS gave me: faith that no matter what happens from here on out, I’ll rise out of the ashes.

Chicco KeyFit 30: Fit For A Shrimp

The Shrimpster, in his Chicco Keyfit with Infant Insert


I was a little anal about my baby registry, I have to admit. Part of it was that I was so flummoxed by the number of choices and chagrined by the implication that if I made the wrong choice I’d be a BAD MOTHER that I researched the pants off of everything. That, and I tend to over research things in general. (I even had a spreadsheet of items I wanted! Color coded! And cross referenced!)

Anyhoo, when MAS was born three months early that whole process sort of got dropped. Funny, that. I’d researched everything online, you see, and hadn’t had a chance to really visit the babychain stores to see the crap in real life. (More on that later when we talk about strollers & citylife.)

Plus, it seemed like every time we started preparing for MAS's arrival something bad happened. What do I mean? Paint the babies room: go into preterm labor & deliver 12 weeks early. Order the crib: baby gets NEC and has to go on a triple course of antibiotics for ten days and is fed through an IV.

Scary shit, no? Sorta makes you superstitious, no?

And then there's the fact that our needs and priorities shifted a bit: preemies are a special case. Especially super shrimpy preemies like MAS. For Chrissake, he just barely hit 4 lbs 12 oz when we brought him home so the Graco SafeSeat I’d registered for sure as hell wasn’t going to cut it. (The SafeSeat is only good for babies 5 lbs and over...)

The only car seat that could really fit him was the Chicco Keyfit 30, which I begrudgingly registered for even though it was more expensive than the Graco and didn’t fit the SnugGlider that I REALLY wanted. (A swing! And it vibrates! And is so small I could fold it and slide it under the sofa! A Brooklynite's dream, really...)

But boy was I wrong. I love this car seat, if love is a word that can really be applied to something like a car seat. It was a breeze to install because its got a spring-assisted level foot, bubble levels, and “Center-Pull” adjustment. And it fits babies 4 to 30 lbs and has these latches on the side so I can use it in our car, in a car service car or even a Taxi—from the day he came home from the NICU until he’s like 2. So MAS is pretty much set.

Luckily it also fits my Mountain Buggy Stroller Car Seat Adapter and Kolcraft Universal Car Seat frame—the latter of which, annoyingly, was stolen from my apartment building’s vestibule. (But also luckily: Brooklyn thieves are stupid: they stole the cheap stroller!)